Managing Stress

Life is full of stress, which can be both good and bad for us. Sometimes stress can serve as a useful motivator for our goals, or alert us when something's off in one of our relationships. Other times, stress can become too much, and have negative effects on our wellbeing and daily life, such as causing us to procrastinate on things that are important to us or wearing us down physically.

Learning how to manage stress in a way that's right for you is important. Often, this is referred to in our culture as "practicing self care."

You may find yourself targeted with ads or recommendations that make it sound like self care requires spending a lot of money (going to a spa or taking vacation, buying expensive hygiene items). Those things can be fun if they are in reach, but the reality about managing stress is that it's about identifying the things you like to do, engaging in activities that bring you peace and joy, making time to take care of responsibilities. It's a balance, and anyone who has tried to walk on a balance beam can tell you balance requires practice.

The good news is that there are lots of techniques and ideas in this area. Again, what's most important is identifying what works for you.

• Making art
• Practicing deep breathing
• Taking a nap
• Watching a movie
• Meditating
• Exercising
• Organizing your bedroom
• Eating nutritious foods
• Yoga
• Reading
• Dancing
• Drinking water (hydrating)
• Connecting with friends or loved ones

Here is a fuller list from Active Minds, and a 6 minute video from NAMI where someone outlines what her specific strategies are.

KEY TIP: When identifying options for managing stress, also think through how you will schedule and prioritize these activities based on a realistic look at your daily life. For example, if you decide a 20 minute walk is going to be one of your activities, check out your schedule and figure out whether you can do this twice a week, daily, every other day. Identify what time of day might work. Add it to your calendar if that would be helpful. Do yourself the kindness of making your choices for managing stress not just one more thing on a to do list, but rather an integrated, intentional part of your life.

If you would like to learn more about stress and other tips for managing it, you may want to check out this article from the JED Foundation and this one from the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention.

Here are some ideas for managing stress from around the Internet.

A lot of people use the words stress and anxiety interchangeably in our culture. But the distinction between the two is important. Stress is caused by external triggers like deadlines or conflicts with loved ones, while anxiety is more about persistent worrying that doesn't go away even without an external stressor.

Both mild stress and anxiety manifest physically in a lot of the same ways: digestive upset, insomnia, fatigue, muscle pain, irritability. A lot of the techniques outlined earlier on this page, like exercise or eating well, will work well to manage either.

More intense anxiety that might officially be classified as a mental illness such as Generalized Anxiety Disorder goes on for longer – usually more than two weeks, often months – and interrupts your ability to function, your mood, and often your relationships. In that case, you would likely want to use the tools of managing stress but may also want to seek professional help.

IMPORTANT: If you or someone else you know is in immediate danger or crisis, please call 988 or 911. When in doubt, please talk to a trusted adult to review symptoms and experiences – like a parent, school counselor or physician.

You can read more from the American Psychological Association (APA) on the difference between anxiety and stress here. You may also want to check out this page from Active Minds, which includes a flow chart to help figure out if you're experiencing stress or anxiety.

REMINDER: While these resources can help you in making the distinction between stress and anxiety, you should not try to diagnose yourself with a mental illness. If you believe you may be struggling with an anxiety disorder, or are unsure if you are, reach out to a professional or trusted adult who can refer you to one.

There are people who spend a lot of their time researching and studying well-being. One of the fields that focuses on this is positive psychology, and many people in that area have free online classes or lectures. Here are a few options:

• Five Ways to Become Happier with Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar. ~5 minute video with 5 key tips to improve well-being.
• Laurie Santos: Psychology and the Good Life. ~1 hour lecture at the Aspen Institute on college student stress, mental health, and lessons from psychology on improving well-being.